You can’t change behavior. 

What you can change is your story, by understanding your motivators, which ultimately drive behavior. Lasting change will not happen if you try to change any behavior without first addressing what drives your actions. Sure, there may be a season of performing the actions in the right way, but soon your true motivations override the “trying,” and the old learned behaviors sneak back in.

Without proper motivation and changed belief systems, long-term behavioral change is nearly impossible. Fortunately, the opposite is true as well: When you have meaningful, desirable motivations, change is definitely possible. True change happens when you correctly align your internal motivators, values, and beliefs to initiate and drive the daily actions and behaviors. In fact, I would go so far to say as people are transformed when they change their beliefs! Below are a few tips on how to change your story into one that leads to transformation. Read the rest of this entry »

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This episode of our ASK SHANDEL podcast discusses curiosity and how it affects our relationships, leadership, and other areas. Curiosity can be defined as: the desire to learn or know about anything; inquisitiveness. Like children, great people have an inherent desire to learn from their environment. This hunger drives them to ask questions and explore how all this new information affects their lives.

In Clarity: Focusing on What Matters we are on Week 26 – halfway through the book! This installment is all about how our character is shaped by curiosity. Not only is it a character trait, but curiosity is an emotion, and driven by that emotion, you are led to explore, investigate, and learn.

That explains why people who shut off their emotions and live from their heads turn off their natural curiosity and settle for fact-finding. Read the rest of this entry »

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Jason’s story inspires me! Did you enjoy the video? 

As you know, I love celebrating winners and Jason Richards is a man worth celebrating! Since 2007, I have watched him excel in all areas of his life. He is never satisfied with his personal growth, always pushing for more and I love it.  In 2011, Jason was ready for his next challenge and accepted the position of President of Project Bionic. He is a leader of leaders and will continue to impress the world with his drive, values, and heart. He has a high ROI motivator and insist of integrity through getting results via people, systems and processes. I both admire and adore this man. You’ll enjoy him too.

Here’s Jason’s Story….

I’ve had the pleasure of working with Shandel and the True Life Coaching team for nearly five years with two separate organizations. Within that time, the personal and professional development that I’ve been able to achieve as a direct result of True Life Coaching has been nothing shy of extraordinary. Shandel’s coaching and the True Life Workshops have provided me tremendous insight into developing company culture, building effective teams, and fulfilling my life with personal vision and clarity.

Company Culture

One of the greatest hurdles for an organization to be successful is its culture. Culture is what unifies an organization around one vision and the rules by which the vision will be achieved. It removes unproductive subjectivity and allows for better, faster, and more rational decision making. Without a rock solid culture comprised of a vision, mission, and core values, a company’s ability to be efficiently and effectively productive is much more difficult.

Having helped define the culture of two organization that I’ve been a part and then providing the tools to lead to the vision by way of the core values, it is because of my experiences and coaching with Shandel that I now truly understand the power of a strong company culture.

Building Teams

One of the greatest strengths of a true leader is the ability to build teams. This is as true for business as it is for any facet of life where leadership is involved. And in the five years I’ve been a client of True Life Coaching, I’ve learned that it is much more difficult than rotating picks when selecting your kickball squad.

Building teams is about breaking down the barriers of trust and communication that prevent a group of individuals from achieving collective success. It is recognizing and optimizing the skills of the individual to most effectively contribute to the priorities of the team. It is ensuring there is an alignment of objectives and then allowing team members to self-declare accountability of the action items necessary to achieve those objectives. It is the leader’s responsibility in all of this to humbly serve your team of A-players by clearing the path so they can attain victory …even if it is to win a kickball game.

Personal Vision

One of the greatest takeaways I’ve gotten from my time with Shandel has been creating a life of clarity and vision. It has allowed for me to have alignment in my thoughts, words and actions in order to live purposefully and with integrity. I am able to more easily define what’s important, reframe the things that aren’t, and celebrate more emphatically the wins in life. Shandel has provided me with the skills to achieve greater clarity of myself as an individual which has led to stronger, more productive relationships with my family and others around me.

ROI

I frequently tell people that the time I’ve put into working with the True Life Coaching team has given me the greatest return on investment. It has helped me prioritize what’s really important, freeing up much needed bandwidth to focus on the next level of success, both professionally and personally. I often find that many people have misconception about life and business coaching. True Life is not about looking into the past and figuring out why you are who you are from some early childhood tragedies. This is about future growth; it’s about defining strategies that get results. It is learning how to truly live a life with purpose and maximizing your potential to get to the next level. There is no greater return than being able to create success for yourself and, more importantly, those around you.

- Jason Richards

Follow him on twitter @JasonSRich

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This edition of the ASK SHANDEL podcast talks about gratitude and the power of living everyday with intention. Below, I share 3 ways I utilize my gratitude list and I want to hear from you how it is transforming you. Listen in, read on and jump on board.

Officially, today is day 55 of our 2012 Challenge and I am checking in to celebrate the wins of those doing well and invite others to join in on being grateful? For those taking the 2,012 gratitude challenge, I admit I am into the 300s but a few days behind.  For those who have not started it is not too late – get started today. With sunshine beaming in, I’m ready to get caught up and in the meantime hope to hear from the rest of you on your progress. Its time report in via facebook or below in the comments.

Are you practicing being present and grateful?  Today are you full of joy and awareness of how precious life is or are you simply crossing stuff off the list forgetting to look around and celebrate the wins. It prompts me to ask the question What makes you smile?  What brings joy to your life?

This makes me smile!!

3 Ways I Use My Gratitude List

1.  To center my morning. I will often start my day recalling the things I noticed the day before that made me smile or brought me joy. It helps me remember how good I truly have it.

2.  To alter my bad mood.  When I am in the blue funk or angry that life is not going my way, I stop and try to name 2-3 unique things I am thankful for and sure enough it helps me get out of the over focus on myself.

3.  To celebrate my life. There is something that happens when we take time to be present in our day to notice beauty we otherwise let pass us by.  For example, right now the sun is streaming through the window as it goes down for the evening. Unspeakable, gorgeous, where’s my list.

Enjoy the podcast and let it reinforce our group effort with a quick on the “why” behind the challenge.

Would love to see below the answer to the question WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? What brings joy to your life?

Enjoy the process!

I just finished reading Chapter 25 in Clarity: Focusing on What Matters and here is what struck me: When disappointment hits we have a choice to become bitter or better. It reminded me of a speech I gave on Monday about overcoming bitterness and getting rid of anger. Before you can get rid of disappointment and bitterness you have to identify it.

Trials Identify The Cracks

Trials are an opportunity to reveal cracks in the foundation of our plan, life, and vision. As a leader you need to take action and deal with your own bitterness, disappointments, and conflicts. If you don’t you let them simmer on the back burner unti it boils. It costs too much energy, time, and resources to let that happen. Here are some way to identify and address the cracks before you have a crumbling disaster on your hands.

5 Actions Steps to Overcome Disappointment

1.  Know your expectations…because they lead to disappointments. If you are a leader you have high aspirations, big dreams, and crazy long term vision as part of your DNA – you can’t help it. The problem is this great strength becomes a weakness and a stumbling block when they morph into expectations.  Rarely do people ever meet our expectations so instead of adjusting and communicating our expectations into understandable goals and requests, we experience disappointment. Disappointment not dealt with properly leads to bitterness. Be clear with your expectations, first with yourself, and then with others. Read the rest of this entry »

This is such a timely subject that I decided to include an excerpt from my book CLARITY: FOCUSING ON WHAT MATTERS. We are on week #24 and if you have not read the book or following along with our year long challenge – join in now.

Real Risk For Real Relationships

Growing up in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, I had a few too many opportunities for adventure: jumping snowmobiles in the full moon, passing three logging trucks on a two-lane highway in a ’71 Vega, leaping off 40-foot cliffs into the Feather River, and countless other near death experiences. Let’s just say that some adventures were cause for a visit to the chiropractor on Monday morning.

These days, I’ve traded adventure stunts for business tactics. Perhaps you’re like me. A different type of risk defines us…until someone challenges us to look deeper, or within. We may be successful but are we wealthy in relationships?

Intimacy is necessary for rich relationships. The only way to have true intimacy is to risk your self emotionally. At this point, the risk-taker in many of us comes to a screeching halt. Thinking of exposing our inner being is enough to send half of us running!

Where is your gap?

Have you felt a gap within you? Read the rest of this entry »

Listen to more on relief via “ASK SHANDEL” - listen here!

My favorite emotion is relief and I wrote extensively about it in Clarity on Week 23. Love is a choice or I would choose love, but think about the glorious feeling around the word relief. Like when you can’t find your child in the store and, after 5 minutes, see the feet pop out from the clothes rack. SHEW! Or running around the house for 30 minutes, now how late for a business meeting and then finally finding your keys.

Can you agree?

Relief is glorious and yet it should never be used a substitute for needed change. Many of us don’t change until we have to and so we thrive on relief when things “work out anyway.” I am telling you that is a lack of integrity that I must address often and I welcome you to do the same thing. What in your life needs to change today? Are you taking action that will lead to real growth or are you just trying to get a reprieve and settling for a lesser life so you can stay comfortable?

Relief for relief’s sake will derail your long-term success. You will choose behaviors that compromise your values just to “keep the peace” and simply react to life like a pinball.

Tools to take control

It is time for you to take control of your life and here in this podcast on relief that will help you get there. On the podcast, I give you a few ideas on how to get your emotions and your values back in line. Enjoy!

Would love to know what you think of the podcast? What questions would you suggest we tackle in upcoming episodes?

Your Coach For Clarity,

P.S. We have 2 spots left in our LIFE 301 class that supports you to answer the why of who you are. It starts in a week – join in today!

This is a muse. I usually write pointed business, leadership and life coaching tips. Today, I share my journey to enjoy my life in 2012. On my planning retreat for 2012, I spent some time journaling and getting very clear on what was ahead for me in the new year. Inspiration hit with the 2012 Gratitude Challenge and there are now 50 people committed to recording 2,012 things they are thankful for this year (6 a day btw). The next day, the catalyst for launching the True Life Quote of the Day birthed a beautiful daily inspiration for the growing number of followers. However, I was still struggling with my theme, my inspiring challenge so I prayed. And the answer came effortlessly, ENJOY.  And it freaked me out! What does that mean? It sounds so nice why am I freaking out?

ENJOY as a challenge

Well for sure it is a divine challenge as it certainly is not from me. First of all, I had no idea I wasn’t enjoying my life. I live a pretty exciting life full of purpose and intention and enjoy great influence with incredible people. But this challenge is different.  It’s about ME as a person not as leader. Am I truly enjoying myself?  Am I finding joy?  On the outside, yes and on the surface inside yes and even deep down I have peace and joy because of my spiritual life and deep faith.  However, am I experiencing it at my core and can I say I have that gut feel of enjoyment every day?

The Question

Things I enjoy!

Well do you, Shandel, do you enjoy your life? The answer is Read the rest of this entry »

When hired business to drive profit to the bottom-line, the first step we recommend is to assess what is happening with communication. To get alignment, you first must start with how do we get work done. At TLC, we make certain all team members are assessed and on the same page with their team members.

The magic is to have each member understand their own style and gain insight into their unique talents and personal blindspots. Next is to appreciate and understand their teammates’ strengths, weaknesses, and unique style. To start anywhere else, in my opinion, is a waste of money and energy not, to mention foolish. Why?

Business is Relationships

Business is all about relationships. Think about it. Businesses fail because one or more relationships did not work out (partners, customers, vendors, investors, employees). Relationships end when trust is broken. Trust is eroded if not broken immediately – usually because of a miscommunication.

Think About It

We have all had a relationship go bad, right?  What happened? Something at sometime broke your trust with that person. Now think really hard about it, see if there is a miscommunication? It may have been instant or a slow erosion over time.

Here’s an example.  When I was in high school, I never had a curfew because my mom trusted me and wanted to know where I was at all times.  As long as I communicated I was granted freedom. Now imagine if I said, “Hey Mom, I’m going to Scott’s house” and she assumes I meant my boyfriend Scott, but when she checks up on me, I’m not there and then calls every person in my graduating class looking for me.  Come to find out, I went to “Scott’s house”, the college guy I met at a party last weekend.

In my mind, I communicated perfectly per our agreement with no hint of misleading her. However, my mom is fuming and her trust in me now has a crack in it. I think she is overreacting when she asks me a million questions the next time I want to go out and so I stop telling her every detail because I don’t trust she still has that love and respect for me. Soon we are barely speaking and the relationship is compromised.

AND it happens in the workplace the same way. We think we are communicating perfectly only to find we are getting passive/aggressive attitude from someone. What do we do?

Deal with the Small Stuff

The problem in the workplace is we rarely talk about the small things that bug us. I am not advocating we nit pick and have to vent every problem; however, if we cannot overlook it and move on…it will erode trust.

I find in the workplace, small miscommunications snowball into huge big issues if not dealt with in a professional, agreed upon manner. Knowing your communication style and the style of the others is the fastest way to trust and respect. Then have a conflict resolution process that everyone agrees to and commits to upholding. It is always the small issues that cause the cancer that destroys relationships.

Start With You

Here is a resource we offer to individuals in order to find out your own communication style.  For the leader of a team, we suggest you get everyone on the same page (scroll down on our Workshops page to see our “Building the Extraordinary Team” workshop) to blaze forward into a profitable 2012. Every moment you wait to communicate you compromise results.  A culture of accountability and commitment must start with communication.

Where do you struggle with communication?

Your Coach For Clarity,

I am super excited about the growing list of people doing the 2,012 gratitude list in 2012. Last week in a board meeting, I had a CEO share that he was joining in on the challenge. At his family planning retreat it was brought to his attention that he does not live in the present. Being the amazing go-getter that he is, his action step is gratitude and it’s the right choice.

Gratitude and The Now

Gratitude keeps you in the here and now. It has you reflect on what is happening all around you in the present moment. Most leaders have vision for the future and have a natural ability to see ahead. This trips them up about what is going on today. Having a daily routine to keep you in the present is one of the most powerful things you can do. A tool we have put in place to assist our leaders and gratitude folks is the quote of the day.

Reflection Time is Key

It is my hope that a simple quote will stop your brain and have you reflect. Pausing in your day to remember what’s most important and to write down something you are grateful for. Then each week take time to plan your week. Did you read Week #21 of Clarity: Focusing on What Matters? The title says it all -”Jumping Off the Hamster Wheel”. Clarity is designed to give you a weekly inspiration to help you prepare for your week. Then once a month, find a half day or full day to get away and examine where you are and where you are headed.

Only Live 2012 Once

You only get to live this day today. Being present is a gift you give the key people in your life and yourself. What can you do today to stay present and enjoy the here and now?

Please share how you stay present and focused on a daily or weekly basis.

Your Coach,