Tag Archives: communication

deadly 34

Silence Is Not Golden, It Is Deadly – Clarity #34

You may not realize it, but the problems you are facing right now at work or at home may very well be traced to silence. YES! Silence is deadly. In Week 34 of Clarity we discuss the potential results of silence and how it affects relationships and work environments. For those who have not yet purchased the book Clarity: Focusing on What Matters here is the entire weekly read for you to preview and enjoy.

Silence Isn’t Golden, It is Destructive

taylor silence 34 (759x800) (607x640)We may live in an era of email and smart phones and wireless networks. Yet in virtually every employee survey, communication tops the “needs-improvement” list.

Problems in communication can mean inaccurate information or insensitive comments. But a huge chunk of it fits in the negative category of not communicating information. The lack of communication.

I have a client whose vice president has gone silent. The man is taking days to reply to e-mail messages and voicemails, is forgetting to include subject-matter experts in strategic meetings, and is not making crucial decisions.

My client hesitates to directly ask the VP, who in the past has shot down such questions. So my client finds himself filling in the blanks. He’s questioning his own worth. Am I the problem? Should I start looking for another VP? And he’s not the only one affected. The whole team’s efficiency has halted, deadlines are being missed, morale is plummeting, rumors are flying — all because we have a VP who is unresponsive and “too busy” to deal with the team.

When Silent, People Fill in the Blanks

deadly 34People don’t like “dead air.” You’ve seen it in conversation: people inevitably fill a too-long silence with a comment or question. It’s the same in work and personal relationships, only on a larger scale. People can’t help “filling in the blanks” caused by lack of communication and leadership. They speculate as to why the silence in so deafening. And soon the damage is done.

The truth is, trying not to cause problems by not doing any harm is not being a good leader. It’s abdication. Not saying anything in fear you’ll of saying the wrong thing is not only good communication. It’s cowardice. If you’re not leading, you are following. There are no extra credit points for not doing anything wrong, especially if you haven’t done anything at all.

So take note: You need to use your words! Communicate or pay the price. To the listener silence communicates a lack of care, concern, and value. To the one being silent, you can’t hide, you must face your fear of doing something wrong — and do something right.

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Your Coach,


Tips on Communicating with High Compliance Folks

Last week, I had the opportunity to film a debrief on our new TTI Talent Insight assessment. We are going to produce a DVD to assist folks in debriefing their own reports. Super fun time. Pictured here is one of my favorite analogies explaining the difference between High Compliance (affectionately called Hi C) and Low Compliance (Low C) and how differently they solve problems.

Some folks are better planners and analyze before they start a project and others like to just do it and figure it out as they go.

This month we gave away 10 of these assessments on our Facebook page to folks who “like” us. I can already tell a few of those winners are high Compliance folks. I can’t wait for them to be free to know who they are and live with more intention because of it. I thought I would pass on some tips from the report on communicating with the Compliance folks in your life. Continue reading

The Perils of Miscommunication. Clarity #22

When hired business to drive profit to the bottom-line, the first step we recommend is to assess what is happening with communication. To get alignment, you first must start with how do we get work done. At TLC, we make certain all team members are assessed and on the same page with their team members.

The magic is to have each member understand their own style and gain insight into their unique talents and personal blindspots. Next is to appreciate and understand their teammates’ strengths, weaknesses, and unique style. To start anywhere else, in my opinion, is a waste of money and energy not, to mention foolish. Why?

Business is Relationships

Business is all about relationships. Think about it. Businesses fail because one or more relationships did not work out (partners, customers, vendors, investors, employees). Relationships end when trust is broken. Trust is eroded if not broken immediately – usually because of a miscommunication.

Think About It

We have all had a relationship go bad, right? What happened? Something at sometime broke your trust with that person. Now think really hard about it, see if there is a miscommunication? It may have been instant or a slow erosion over time.

Here’s an example. When I was in high school, I never had a curfew because my mom trusted me and wanted to know where I was at all times. As long as I communicated I was granted freedom. Now imagine if I said, “Hey Mom, I’m going to Scott’s house” and she assumes I meant my boyfriend Scott, but when she checks up on me, I’m not there and then calls every person in my graduating class looking for me. Come to find out, I went to “Scott’s house”, the college guy I met at a party last weekend.

In my mind, I communicated perfectly per our agreement with no hint of misleading her. However, my mom is fuming and her trust in me now has a crack in it. I think she is overreacting when she asks me a million questions the next time I want to go out and so I stop telling her every detail because I don’t trust she still has that love and respect for me. Soon we are barely speaking and the relationship is compromised.

AND it happens in the workplace the same way. We think we are communicating perfectly only to find we are getting passive/aggressive attitude from someone. What do we do?

Deal with the Small Stuff

The problem in the workplace is we rarely talk about the small things that bug us. I am not advocating we nit pick and have to vent every problem; however, if we cannot overlook it and move on…it will erode trust.

I find in the workplace, small miscommunications snowball into huge big issues if not dealt with in a professional, agreed upon manner. Knowing your communication style and the style of the others is the fastest way to trust and respect. Then have a conflict resolution process that everyone agrees to and commits to upholding. It is always the small issues that cause the cancer that destroys relationships.

Start With You

Here is a resource we offer to individuals in order to find out your own communication style. For the leader of a team, we suggest you get everyone on the same page (scroll down on our Workshops page to see our “Building the Extraordinary Team” workshop) to blaze forward into a profitable 2012. Every moment you wait to communicate you compromise results. A culture of accountability and commitment must start with communication.

Where do you struggle with communication?

Your Coach For Clarity,


What I Learned at The SCORRE Conference and Our First ASK SHANDEL PODCAST


Listen to why I loved the SCORRE conference and catch the highlights below!

When was the last time you invested in honing your craft?

Last week, I did just that by attending the Dynamic Communications Workshop in Vail, Colorado. I am extremely grateful for the SCORRE process I learned from Ken Davis, Michael Hyatt and the incredible DCW staff.

Learning from those who are the best at what you want to do is, to me, both wise and efficient. For me, I admire Michael Hyatt and follow his blog religiously. When I heard he learned so much, I knew I had to go and for sure he under promised and over delivered.What a great honor to sit 1:1 and learn from this wise leader and role model for me.

The SCORRE method multiplied my talent

Each week I speak to corporate leadership teams, all staff meetings, and company retreats. I am honored to speak to groups of hundreds and now with the SCORRE method feel empowered. While I thrive in going off the cuff and being in the moment with the audience, what was missing for me was the tool to prepare the memorable speech. In just 72 hours, my natural talent was honed and multiplied. Talk about an instant ROI! Continue reading

Your Words Matter! 7 Tips to Better Communication. Clarity #14

Have you ever been mismanaged? This is often a question I ask as I kick off each “Building The Extraordinary Team” workshop. Without fail, every person raises his or her hand. If I am working with the leadership team, I follow up that question with, “How many of you have been the one who mismanaged?” Again all hands meekly go up.

Communication is at the root of nearly every management issue.

What is your leadership style?

Most leaders do not know or cannot articulate their personal leadership style. Let me challenge you: Do you know what your leadership style is and successfully navigate within it? Let's just take one small area – words. Are you in tune with your words and how powerful your nonverbal language is to those around you?

Your Words Matter

Jeane J. Kirkpatrick once said, “Words can destroy. What we call each other ultimately becomes what we think of each other, and it matters.” Continue reading

What is the first sign that trust is eroding? 7 tips to help! Clarity #10

Why do thriving businesses, organizations and families fall a part? Let's break it down step by step.

Business is all about relationships. Think about it. Relationships with your customers, vendors, shareholders, employees, media, and when the relationships dissolves so does the business.

Relationships break down because trust begins to be questioned, silently eroding, and then eventually breaks completely. Continue reading