Tag Archives: courage

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When Leadership Requires Tough Love

Being a leader isn’t easy! Many challenges exist in the world of leadership, and one of the most difficult is when a leader must use the concept of “tough love” to elicit growth in a team member. I could write something on the topic, but I’m going to instead let my buddy Bret Simmons do the talking! Bret recently posted the article, The Process of Leadership Requires Tough Love. Please visit his blog and let him know you were there!

Here’s Bret…

The first book we read in my MBA class on Leading Change is “Building the Bridge as You Walk on It” by Robert E. Quinn. The key point of the book is that organizations do not change significantly unless someone inside the organization changes significantly; hence, self-change is the key to organizational change. Ever increasing integrity is the driving force of self-change; the discipline to chose to daily confront the biggest hypocrite you will ever encounter in your organization – the one you see in the mirror.  It’s a brilliant book that applies the systems thinking principle of purposeful emergence across scale to leadership and change.

Toward the very end of the book is a chapter about tough love and leadership that is ripe with wisdom. Here are some of the notes from that chapter that I share with my students:

  • Tough love is the integration of toughness and love; the ability to be both compassionate and assertive.
  • Those who treat us with tough love disturb the habitual way in which we choose to see ourselves by asking tough questions or making tough statements
  • When most people think of tough love, they split the oppositions and focus only on being tougher but forget the importance of also growing in compassion
  • We cannot inform people into tough love. We can only invite others into that creative state when we practice tough love ourselves
  • You must learn as a follower the value of telling others what they need to hear or you will never invite this from others when you become a leader
  • Withholding the truth from others is a selfish, rather than a purposeful posture. Choosing comfort over truth is irresponsible.
  • Selfish people will punish you for telling them the truth; but that does not relieve you of the responsibility to do so. If you don’t learn to practice responsible freedom in tough love then you allow yourself to be enslaved by someone else’s comfort zone.
  • We don’t transform by learning concepts; we transform when we commit to a higher purpose.

It’s clear to me that in order to practice tough love as a leader you have to develop the discipline as a follower. The process of leadership requires authentic relationships where everyone assumes responsibility for giving and receiving honest, purposeful feedback. There is no integrity in playing charades.

At the end of Quinn’s chapter on tough love, he offers a list of helpful hints for practicing the discipline. As I read the list again last night, I was struck by how well they capture the essence of effective leadership.

  • Know the collective result you want to create
  • Know what difficult standards are necessary to create that result
  • Model complete integrity around the standard
  • Hold everyone to the same standard that you are modeling
  • Make no exceptions
  • Let people go if they cannot live the standard
  • No one is more important than the collective good
  • Challenge others to exceed their current capabilities
  • Spend time with people you seek to lead
  • Show genuine concern for their needs
  • Make all topics discussable, including your own behavior

That’s a darn good list of suggestions. Don’t miss the fact that the responsibility to model complete personal integrity to the espoused standards comes before holding anyone else accountable. The only way to ensure you are not making an exception for yourself is to invite others to hold you accountable, just as you would hold them accountable. More than an invitation, it has to be an expectation. It’s irresponsible for any follower to not hold him or herself accountable for helping you hold yourself accountable.

If you really care, then you will find the courage to say what needs to be said. If you never tell the truth, then you really don’t care. You must care if you want to matter.

It’s your responsibility to want to matter. You’re not entitled to matter, you have to earn it by the choices you make on a daily basis.

- Special thanks to Dr. Bret Simmons for sharing his wisdom with us. This was originally posted on www.bretlsimmons.com

Your Coach,

sig_shandel

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5 Steps to Your Best Year Yet!

How is your 2016 – are you off to a great start, or are you stuck at the starting line? If you didn’t see our 4th quarter newsletter, it is full of new year inspiration.

I want so much for this year to be your best yet – best in ALL areas, not just an out-of-balance limping along where you are excelling in one area and woefully anemic in many others. So how do we go about it?

Here are 5 things you can give your attention to – TODAY!

  1. I want you to be courageous. I want you to tell the truth and be real.
  2. I want you to be humble and to be confident. Call it humble-confidence.
  3. I want you to be clear about your priorities and honor them.
  4. I want you to communicate, and once you feel you have, then do it again six more times. I want you to connect with others in a new and meaningful way. I want you to listen, truly listen to others and hear what they are saying and what they are not saying.
  5. I want you to delegate 50% more. You need help to do so, thus I want you to ask for help.

If you are ready to say YES to the life that is in alignment and has priorities, contact us! We have coaching packages for you in both your leadership and personal life.

What are you waiting for??

Your Coach,

sig_shandel

 

 

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Ten Things Leaders “Should” Do

I wrote Clarity: Focusing on What Matters for leaders who like short reads (400 words or less)  and big application. That is why I fell in love with this article by Robin Sharma as I think he has a great perspective on what authentic leadership looks like when the leader is keeping it real. Enjoy!

What would your life look like if you had absolutely no fear? What kinds of things would you do if you lived from a frame of reference that your thoughts literally could form your world?

How brightly would your light shine if you stepped out of the limitations that are keeping you small and stretched yourself well past your comfort zone into the place that you know, deep within, you are meant to be?

Authentic leadership is all about being the person you know in your heart you have always been destined to be. Authentic leadership does not come from your title or from the size of your paycheck. Instead, this form of leadership comes from your being and the person that you are.

Here are 10 things that authentic leaders do on a regular basis:

 1. They speak their truth. In business today, we frequently ‘swallow our truth’. We say things to please others and to look good in front of The Crowd. Authentic leaders are different. They consistently talk truth. They would never betray themselves by using words that are not aligned with who they are. This does not give anyone a license to say things that are hurtful to people. Speaking truth is simply about being clear, being honest and being authentic.

2. They lead from the heart. Business is about people. Leadership is about people. The best leaders wear their hearts on their sleeves and are not afraid to show their vulnerability. They genuinely care about other people and spend their days developing the people around them. They are like the sun: the sun gives away all it has to the plants and the trees. But in return, the plants and the trees always grow toward the sun.

3. They have rich moral fiber. Who you are speaks far more loudly than anything you could ever say. Strength of character is true power – and people can feel it a mile away. Authentic leaders work on their character. They walk their talk and are aligned with their core values. They are noble and good. And in doing so, people trust, respect and listen to them.

4, They are courageous. It takes a lot of courage to go against the crowd. It takes a lot of courage to be a visionary. It takes a lot of inner strength to do what you think is right even though it may not be easy. We live in a world where so many people walk the path of least resistance. Authentic leadership is all about taking the road less traveled and doing, not what is easy, but what is right.

5. They build teams and create communities. One of the primary things that people are looking for in their work experience is a sense of community. In the old days, we got our community from where we lived. We would have block parties and street picnics. In the new age of work, employees seek their sense of community and connection from the workplace. Authentic leaders create workplaces that foster human linkages and lasting friendships.

6.They deepen themselves. The job of the leader is to go deep. Authentic leaders know themselves intimately. They nurture a strong self-relationship. They know their weaknesses and play to their strengths. And they always spend a lot of time transcending their fears.

7. They are dreamers. Einstein said that, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” It is from our imaginations that great things are born. Authentic leaders dare to dream impossible dreams. They see what everyone else sees and then dream up new possibilities. They spend a lot of time with their eyes closed creating blueprints and fantasies that lead to better products, better services, better workplaces and deeper value. How often do you close your eyes and dream?

8. They care for themselves. Taking care of your physical dimension is a sign of self-respect. You can’t do great things at work if you don’t feel good. Authentic leaders eat well, exercise and care for the temples that are their bodies. They spend time in nature, drink plenty of water and get regular massages so that, physically, they are operating at planet-class levels of performance.

9. They commit to excellence rather than perfection. No human being is perfect. Every single one of us is a work in progress. Authentic leaders commit themselves to excellence in everything that they do. They are constantly pushing the envelope and raising their standards. They do not seek perfection and have the wisdom to know the difference. What would your life look like if you raised your standards well beyond what anyone could ever imagine of you?

10. They leave a legacy. To live in the hearts of the people around you is to never die. Success is wonderful but significance is even better. You were made to contribute and to leave a mark on the people around you. In failing to live from this frame of reference, you betray yourself. Authentic leaders are constantly building their legacies by adding deep value to everyone that they deal with and leaving the world a better place in the process.

Thank you Robin for sharing your wisdom with us!

Your Coach,

sig_shandel

ronnie

Overcome your Fear of Failure

The fear of failure is a strong underlying motivator that drives many successful leaders. Failure is defined by you, as an individual, and unfortunately, as a people group, we are much harder on ourselves than anyone else in our sphere of influence. Just as I was reflecting on week 39 of Clarity: Focusing on What Matters, my friend Dave Kraft shared the following post on his blog. If you recall, I have written about courage and yet I love the way that Brad brings all the concepts home. Plus he is scared of jellyfish - readers of Clarity will be humored by that!

Reflecting on last week’s blog on fear and worry, this seems to be a quick little factoid to keep you out of fear and onto courage. Here’s what I had to say about being a woman of Valor at the LEXI Leadership Summit!

Enjoy!

sig_shandel

 

 

Originally posted by Brad Lomenick

What are you afraid of? What are you scared of? What frightens you?

Let’s face it. We are all scared of something. And all of us need a dose of courage to confront what currently is making us afraid.

Courage is facing up to something that frightens you. Looking at it straight on and dealing with it, straight up.

Reality is, we all need courage. Especially leaders. Courage to overcome. Courage to break through barriers. Courage to charge and climb the next hill. Courage to face fears. Courage to conquer and control fears. Fears. Yep.

Many times what holds us back is fear. Being scared. Living scared. Leading scared.

But take courage. Be FEARLESS, not fearful.

Today, what are you scared of? What is holding you back from all that God has created you to be?

For me, my biggest fear is failure. Occasionally it creates some very unhealthy leadership landmines and roadblocks that I have to work through. And is paralyzing, because when a leader is afraid to fail, taking risks then gets moved to the side, and maintaining status quo is the focus. Reality is, for many type A leaders, we are scared to death of failing. Afraid of what our friends will say, what our families will say, and how it will impact our next career season. And afraid of potentially losing what we “feel” like we’ve helped build or create.

And many of us incorrectly assume that in failure, the leader should take all the blame and is responsible no matter what. Not true, but something that still evokes fear.

Fear and failure don’t have to go together. Failure is not something to be scared of. We should respect failure, but not fear it.

Take a bold step. Today.

Bonus: here are some random things I’m been scared of over the course of my life:

1. Storms- up until I was 13 or 14, I was absolutely petrified of storms. I mean scared out of my mind. If there were clouds in the sky in the morning with a chance of storms, I would get physically sick I was so scared. And have to stay home from school. Literally petrified. And in Oklahoma, storms are for real. Tornadoes all the time.

2. Certain Dogs. This one still haunts me because of being bit by a pit bull when I was 5 or 6 years old. Still have the scar on my shin to prove it.

3. Bugs and Snakes. Not a fan at all of spiders or snakes. Actually, pretty much all small bugs shake me up a bit. Bees and wasps as well. I’m sweating just thinking about it…..

4. The Elevator in the St. Louis Gateway Arch. If you’ve been, you know what I’m talking about!!

5. Jellyfish. Hello. Who’s with me?

GIVE UP FEAR PEOPLE!! GO LIVE COURAGEOUSLY!!

 

Acclaimed Photography

Why Women Struggle with Confidence and Courage

Women leaders have unique skills and abilities that allow them to drive results, lead high performing teams and find meaning in their work. Yet they often feel isolated with the juggling of their conflicting priorities. The pressure can often take a toll on one’s confidence and courage. That is why we want to inspire them to be FEARLESS! Women you have what it takes! You can find your passion, live with purpose and use your superpower to leave an impact on the next generation.

Slide11My passion is to equip leaders to get to their next level. For the last 6 years, I have invested my give-back energy into the LEXI Women’s Leadership Summit. LEXI’s mission is to connect, equip and mentor women in their professional, personal and community endeavors.

May 2nd was the 6th annual LEXI summit in Seattle and we are having our next live summit in Reno on October 24, 2014.  HOWEVER – DRUM ROLL – we are doing a pre-event on May 23rd in Reno and all women are invited to attend. Here is the Facebook event page – please come.

Below is a recap from LEXI speaker, co-producer, and personal branding diva, Debra Trappen, as it was originally published on the d11 blog here.

Here’s Debra…

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Friday, May 2nd, I participated in, and co-produced, a women’s leadership summit called LEXI.  LEXI stands for Leaders Engaged in the eXchange of Ideas.

I am often asked “What do you talk about and hear at those women’s events?”.  This question always makes me smile and reflect on all of the fantastic moments experienced over the years.  #LEXI14 was no exception… there were ooooodles of amazing tips, trick, and truths shared throughout the day, by passionate, powerful, fearlessly vulnerable women in leadership.  So, I thought I would put together a recap blog post to share some of my favorite shares/quotes of the day, from each LEXI woman – and maybe dispel a myth or two along the way.

2014-05-02 08.49.04-1The morning was kicked off by the summit’s founder and President of True Life Coaching, Shandel Slaten.  Her keynote talk was entitled: The Quest for Valor

Some of my favorite takeaways:

  • “85% of what we worry about will never actually happen!”
  • “What risk would you take today if you were fearless?”
  • “Being fearless is not the absence of fear, it’s being brave in spite of it!”
  • “Being vulnerable is not a weakness, it’s a strength.”

Erica Coogan (with Moss Adams) shared her talk titled: Be A Fearless Superhero

A few quotes from her session:

  • “Don’t forget to give YOURSELF grace and latitude.”
  • “Own your fear and use it as ammunition to drive yourself forward.”
  • “When women band together – we move mountains.”

If you EMBRACE your authentic self…. YouMy talk was next… “Fire Up Your Personal Brand… with a sprinkle of FEARLESSNESS.”

A few fun takeaways :

  • “A key to being FEARLESS is knowing yourself. Be sure to define your purpose, passions & values.”
  • “Stop asking people what they do for a living. Start asking what they do for fun, and really connect.”
  • (and my personal favorite) - “If you embrace your authentic self, you have no competition.”

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Anne Marie Faiola (founder of Brambleberry) shared her story during her session entitled: Fortune Favors the Brave

  • “Never let your fear decide your fate.”
  • “Whatever transition you’re hoping to make, you need to communicate it to others.” 

..she also shared a super cute visual on OPTIMISM–>

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Mary Beth King‘s (of True Life Coaching) talk title: Create the Life You Want to Live
She took us through a fantastic visualization related to our “LIFE WHEEL”… and creating S.M.A.R.T. goals!  Top tidbits:

  • “What steps do you need to take today, this week, and this year to meet your life goals?”
  • “What would it feel like if you had 10′s inside your wheel?”
  • “Success is more likely to happen when we TELL SOMEONE ELSE to help keep us accountable.”

Kim Crumpler Peterson (owner of Uniquely Savvy) knocked it out of the park with an amazing, raw personal testimonial entitled: From Fear to Freedom: Challenging the Lies, Championing the Truth

  • “If you shrink back and play small, you rob your team of your unique contributions! Lead with your strengths.”
  • “You were born with a purpose! You are savvy. You are unique. You are worthy.”
  • “We have an ongoing story in our minds. A lot of it is not true. What lies are you believing? Challenge those lies.”

Theresa-Fette-Quote

Theresa Fette (CEO of Provident Trust Group) was up next with her talk:
“I Am Fearless Because I Have Been Afraid”

  • “To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it will look like destruction.”
  • “Spend far less time worrying about others’ expectations of you.”
  • “Consider and embrace the worst case scenario.”

 

Living Takes Learning: Becoming a True Life Long Learner was the final talk of the day from the magnificent Jeanette K. Winters (Corporate Talent Management Executive)!

  • “How do you achieve success? Go with your gut — it’s attached to your brain!” 
  • “Our brains are wired to produce negative messages… we have to LEARN to fight them.”
  • “NO is a complete sentence.” :)

My mantra from the day was simple.  Feel free to read it out loud and declare it for yourself too:

“I will tap into my personal bravery to become the woman/man of valor I am meant to be!”

 

BRING ON (1)

(Oh, and you truly are vulnerable if you tell a room of 150 women you are wearing SPANX… from the stage!)

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Choose Courage and Overcome Your Fear of Failure – Clarity #39

The fear of failure is a strong underlying motivator that drives many successful leaders. Failure is defined by you, as an individual, and unfortunately, as a people group, we are much harder on ourselves than anyone else in our sphere of influence. Just as I was reflecting on week 39 of Clarity: Focusing on What Matters, my friend Dave Kraft shared the following post on his blog. If you recall, I wrote about courage just a few weeks ago and yet I love the way that Brad brings all the concepts of this week’s reading home. Plus he is scared of jellyfish – readers of Clarity will be humored by that!

Enjoy!

sig_shandel

 

Originally posted by Brad Lomenick on December 2, 2013

What are you afraid of? What are you scared of? What frightens you?

Let’s face it. We are all scared of something. And all of us need a dose of courage to confront what currently is making us afraid.

Courage is facing up to something that frightens you. Looking at it straight on and dealing with it, straight up.

Reality is, we all need courage. Especially leaders. Courage to overcome. Courage to break through barriers. Courage to charge and climb the next hill. Courage to face fears. Courage to conquer and control fears. Fears. Yep.

Many times what holds us back is fear. Being scared. Living scared. Leading scared.

But take courage. Be FEARLESS, not fearful.

Boldly step into all God has created you to be. 

Today, what are you scared of? What is holding you back from all that God has created you to be?

For me, my biggest fear is failure. Occasionally it creates some very unhealthy leadership landmines and roadblocks that I have to work through. And is paralyzing, because when a leader is afraid to fail, taking risks then gets moved to the side, and maintaining status quo is the focus. Reality is, for many type A leaders, we are scared to death of failing. Afraid of what our friends will say, what our families will say, and how it will impact our next career season. And afraid of potentially losing what we “feel” like we’ve helped build or create.

And many of us incorrectly assume that in failure, the leader should take all the blame and is responsible no matter what. Not true, but something that still evokes fear.

Fear and failure don’t have to go together. Failure is not something to be scared of. We should respect failure, but not fear it.

Take a bold step. Today.

Bonus: here are some random things I’m been scared of over the course of my life:

1. Storms- up until I was 13 or 14, I was absolutely petrified of storms. I mean scared out of my mind. If there were clouds in the sky in the morning with a chance of storms, I would get physically sick I was so scared. And have to stay home from school. Literally petrified. And in Oklahoma, storms are for real. Tornadoes all the time.

z (7)2. Certain Dogs. This one still haunts me because of being bit by a pit bull when I was 5 or 6 years old. Still have the scar on my shin to prove it.

3. Bugs and Snakes. Not a fan at all of spiders or snakes. Actually, pretty much all small bugs shake me up a bit. Bees and wasps as well. I’m sweating just thinking about it…..

4. The Elevator in the St. Louis Gateway Arch. If you’ve been, you know what I’m talking about!!

5. Jellyfish. Hello. Who’s with me?

 

jwayne

Why COURAGE Requires Your EQ to Evolve-Clarity #37

John Wayne had it right when he said, “Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” The question for leaders today is “Do you know when fear has taken over your body and that you are now reacting vs. responding?” Are you aware that your fear has given way to anger and that everyone in the room feels your rage, but you? Do you have the humility to see this in yourself and the courage to grow through it?

This month, we have been focused on increasing our Emotional Intelligence starting with self-awareness. Today is the last day for the 300 people who signed up for the EQ assessment to complete it and I can’t wait to see the results. What I am most excited about is the practicality of taking your leadership to the next level.

Be Courageous

One of my favorite words and character traits is COURAGE. Courage only comes to those who have a high EQ for you must feel the fear (self-awareness) and then manage it (self-regulation) effectively so emotion does not hijack your logical brain.

Courage is about truly experiencing fear and having the strength, self-discipline, will, faith, and character to move through it to the breakthrough. I wrote about it in my book Clarity: Focusing on What Matters and thought on this Thanksgiving week, I’d express my gratitude to you faithful blog readers by sharing this chapter with you.

Clarity: WEEK 37

John Wayne had it right when he said, “Courage is being  scared to death and saddling up anyway.”

Do you think of yourself as courageous? To show courage you must be in tune with your core values, understand your own fears and desires, committed to your integrity, and tenacious in your ability to live it all in the face of opposition.

Courage is not something you do. It comes from who you are.ronnie

Courage is not fearlessness. Courage is actually about being quite clear on what you fear and pressing through it to the other side. It’s not risk taking. It’s not strategic decision-making. It’s about following your heart, analyzing facts, and believing that your integrity is what matters in the end. Courage is about leading the vision when the rest of the world wants to watch CNN for hints on their next move.

Courage is about daily choices.

It is doing the right thing especially when it makes you vulnerable to disapproval or public misunderstanding. Courage is about admitting you’re wrong, taking responsibility, and owning the fallout of your choices.

Courage is becoming a lost art in leadership.

Without self-awareness and a keen understanding of our fears and desires, we will likely give in to our narcissism and self-delusion. For example, a CEO who is clueless to his underlying fear of rejection may dominate and rule others from a place of arrogance and self-protection.

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” — Winston Churchill

Such an attitude likely creates a reality in which no one trusts or respects this leader; they instead simply give lip service to get what they want.

I see good leaders firsthand get so busy and stressed out, they forget what they fear. They don’t realize every decision they are rapidly making is a reaction to guard them from that fear. Then, as if no one can see through them, they cover up their actions so they don’t have to face their fear. Not only is it ridiculous; it is being cowardly. You are more than that!

What is one area you know you need to face head-on with courage?

Listen to your coach. You have what it takes. Face your fears, take courage and saddle up.

Your Coach,

sig_shandel

CUP CAKE LOVER

6 Fears That Lead You to Rationalize Your Behavior- Clarity #33

The evolution of a leader includes an ever-increasing emotional intelligence, starting with self-awareness. If you lack self-awareness, you are unable to see when you step out of integrity. In other words, you are unable to see how your words, thoughts, and actions are not in alignment. This dissonance forces an auto response to spin the story — leading to compromised truth, ending with a skewed reality.

Conversely, if you’re a leader with high self-awareness, you are able to quickly discern when and where you are out of alignment with truth. You quickly see your error, admit fault, and take personal accountability. You take action to repair the crack in the relationships due to lack of judgment, and with your words and action, you own the issue at hand. The humility of the self-aware leader leaves plenty of room to learn from mistakes, be curious to what you do not yet know, and be open to feedback as a way to learn and grow.

Most people don’t intentionally rationalize. It comes from being scared, to be blunt. If you have taken the Talent Insight Report, you know that there are four fears that people struggle with and will do most anything to avoid.

  • Fear of Being Taken Advantage Of
  • Fear of Social Rejection
  • Fear of Loss of Security
  • Fear of Making Mistakes

Or how about the two fears of the successful entrepreneur:

  • Will I be found out?
  • Do I have what it takes?

Fear gets in the way of truth, and thus we must rationalize or falsify something in order to psychologically survive and bring a sense of order and control.

What do you think? What are other fears that cause leaders to rationalize?

Your Coach,
sig_shandel

 

Are You a Liar?

Maybe that’s too harsh. Are you a liar, or do you “just” tell white lies to get what you want?

Are you feeling defensive right now? Is a twinge of guilt washing over you as you to scan for the unsubscribe button?

This article is for leaders who believe they are people of integrity. Anyone who holds “integrity, honesty, respect” as core values, this is for you, because I believe you truly want to honor your values. Sadly, it is inevitable that we lie almost every day — to ourselves, our loved ones, our colleagues, and strangers. We consider ourselves honest, but we lie whenever it serves us.

The Stress of Lying

Why am I being so direct and harsh? Because I am seeing too many leaders buckle under stress and trade in their values for a quick fix to their problems. The more stressed you are, the more lies you tell, and the deeper is the hole you are digging for yourself.

Trust me, I have been coaching leaders for 15 years. The stress from living a lie will destroy you, and the innocent people around you. In the end, the family you want to protect and provide for is the most devastated by your lies.

Where Does It Start?

Cognitive Dissonance is a social psychology term I find fascinating. Basically, you can’t believe one thing and behave in an opposite manner. The psychological stress (or dissonance) it causes forces one or the other (the belief or the action) to change. So, you either justify the lie in your head so that you can continue to (falsely) uphold your integrity value, or you abandon the lie and start living as a person of integrity lives.

Thus lying starts with self-betrayal. You betray your own values and then begin blaming another person or circumstance for your own self-betrayal. Again, you cannot live with the stress or dissonance of betraying your own values, so your integrity goes out the window and you begin to live in your altered reality.

I use an excellent book called Leadership and Self-Deception with my high-performing leadership teams. It talks about how quickly we can put people “in the box” and treat them as objects instead of human beings. We have no problem lying about them and destroying them, because of the story we are telling ourselves from our own imprisoned box.

Leaders Spin and Sell the Lie

If you are stuck in the spin cycle, you will need to hire a coach to support you as courageously you journey back to your integrity. Without outside perspective we will spin stories and get others to agree with our “story.” When we are living in our own self-betrayal and out of alignment from our own values, there is a need to sell our lie to get other people to join us. When there is a common enemy to fight, there is unity; however, when we create the enemy out of our own self-betrayal we are headed down a path of mass destruction.

Now, please keep your social filters in place and use common sense as you process what I’m saying. But also challenge yourself to stop tolerating this cowardly — and I might add, narcissistic — behavior. Wouldn’t you agree that liars are cowards? I know when I lie that is what I am — a coward! It takes a brave person to confront the lies in their life and take ownership of their own behaviors.

How Does It End?

Basically, this is how it ends. You either commit to just STOP IT! Or you remove integrity from your resume and continue being a liar.
One way or another, as a leader you will be found out. In the end, truth wins out. WhiIe it takes years to build a reputation and credibility, it takes mere moments to destroy it. You can play the game for just so long and at the worse possible moment the house of cards will fall.
Choose to be brave today. Choose integrity. Stop listening to anyone who is leading you deeper into lying. Be a courageous truth teller who does not self-protect, but faces life trusting that integrity is the most valuable asset for a leader.
You are not alone. If you are stuck, reach out. We help leaders get out of the spin cycle, so don’t believe the lie you are on your own. You can be supported and on the way to being the best you! Today. Just ask.
Your Coach for Clarity,