Tag Archives: emotional intelligence



Within the last few weeks, I’ve had three respective clients from very different industries pose a question that I’ll paraphrase…

“What core competency does our business need to be a driving force a decade from now?”

This is an imperative question! The reality is that we are about to cross the tipping point if we’ve not already crossed that divide. What divide? I’m glad you asked. Think about this…

What was important 100 years ago?  A person’s Intelligence Quotient.  An employer would hire someone based on the perception of his or her IQ. Fast-forward 70 years.

What was important 30 years ago? A person’s Emotional Quotient. Thanks in large part to Daniel Goleman’s research; Businesses across the globe began to pay attention and invest training dollars towards employees EQ or Emotional Intelligence. In other words, did Leaders, Managers or Entry-level employees understand their feelings, the emotions of their colleagues and ultimately co-exist in a respectfully productive manner

What will be the imperative question moving forward?

Do ALL of our employees have a high degree of the Collaborative Quotient? Organizations must focus on Collaborative Intelligence or CQ. If your company can master the art of hiring and partnering with collaborative people that work well with others that are not just like themselves, your people will continue to be your truly differentiating factor.

We aren’t recommending your organization overlook IQ or EQ; however, you must emphasize employee CQ, namely Collaborative Intelligence.

Help me understand why this is so important? Three primary factors to consider:

  1. Information is ubiquitous. You can learn just about anything on YouTube, Lynda.com, Khan Academy, and the list goes on. Not to mention, most of this information is available for free and applies to business.
  2. You can outsource nearly everything. If you wanted to, you could outsource just about all of your responsibilities. Now, that does not mean it is a good idea! Nonetheless, it is possible and increasingly so.
  3. Business will be the essence of competition. Companies who do not optimize will be hard pressed to stay relevant. In the words of P.W. Botha, “Adapt or die”!

Do you know that you’re in need of help with the art of organizational Collaborative Intelligence?

In the next blog, we will share how Shandel Group engages and equips organizations to implement the necessary tools and practices to master Collaborative Intelligence. If you practice these skills and abilities you will be around to pass the test of time and scale during the globalization of business.

If you want to get started learning more about Collaborative Intelligence, check out this book.

Looking forward –

Alan Andersen


Three Leadership Traits That Never Go Out of Style

Once in a while we come across an article that is a great encouragement to leaders. This one from Harvard Business Review discusses Emotional Intelligence and its role in growing our leadership abilities. You can find the original article here. Hope you find this helpful in your quest to lead well!

Your Coach,




P.S. – your True Life Team is ready to assist in your understanding of EI. Have you seen the EQ report we use with our clients? See how our team can help you find your next level!


When I was a kid, the children in our neighborhood would play in a nearby park every evening. Our undisputed leader was a boy barely a year older than I was, I think. He introduced the new kids to everyone, taught them the rules of games we played, and made sure no one felt left out. We also trusted him blindly because he had our backs whenever we messed up.

None of the leadership lessons that I have learned, unlearned, or relearned ever since have left as indelible an impact as the ones I learnt as a child. Three, in particular, stand out:

Trust: Do your team members trust you? Do they accept that you will, without doubt, stand up for them whatever the situation? Only that kind of trust makes people feel empowered, gives them the courage to innovate, take risks, and to push themselves beyond their comfort zones to find success.

David Maister, Charles Green, and Robert Galford, who wrote The Trusted Advisor, outline four attributes on which to assess your trust quotient: Credibility, reliability, intimacy and self-orientation.

Empathy: Did you notice that look of anxiety as your teammate walked into office this morning? Or did you miss it because you were busy fretting about deadlines? Do you treat your team members as human beings, and not just as workers?

Emotional intelligence is widely recognized as a leadership quality, but being transparent about your emotions isn’t. I’m puzzled by the fact that leaders are expected to maintain a stiff upper lip, as the British say, at work. Why can’t we rejoice in our successes, or show concern about our setbacks rather than taking them in our stride? Why don’t we laugh and cry with the highs and lows in the lives of our colleagues? We are human beings, and knowing that our bosses care for us is a fundamental human need.

Mentorship: No matter how talented we may be, we crave the guiding hand, the mentor who will teach us the rules of the game. Pat Riley, the widely respected NBA coach, once said that there was no great player who didn’t want to be coached. The same holds true of work. Would you be where you are today if your first manager hadn’t nudged you in the right direction? When people are perplexed about what the future holds for their organizations and themselves, mentorship is critical.

Little did I know when I was out playing in the shadows of the Himalayas that I was learning some principles that would never go out of fashion. At a time when people everywhere are questioning their leaders’ values, those characteristics seem to resonate even more.

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EQ: Staying Focused and Motivated

Do you find yourself in an emotionally taxed state more than 10 hours per week?

Do you sense your team is frequently in a reactive or fire drill state?

What is this stress costing you? Your team? Your organization?

Ninety percent of the difference between star performers and average performers in senior leadership positions is emotional intelligence (EQ). That’s according to EQ expert Daniel Goleman.

Remember how Robert Cooper put it? “Emotional Intelligence is the ability to sense, understand and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions to facilitate high levels of collaboration and productivity.”

EQ is crucial not just for leadership, though. Your EQ-savvy employees will excel not just at work, but will also have tools to use at home and in their personal endeavors – which will increase their efficiency, overall fulfillment, and sense of control. Of course, that always pays off at work, right?

The Emotionally Intelligent Staff Excels

People who learn how to stay in control under stress:

  • Are intrinsically motivated
  • Have improved cognitive functioning (i.e. rational, creative thought)
  • Are willing to do difficult things
  • Are willing to take risks
  • Think deeply about issues developing creative solutions
  • Collaborate productively
  • Are engaged
  • Perform at higher levels
  • Stay focused and strategic
  • Not easily agitated or discouraged.
  • Ability to persevere in spite of competing priorities.
  • Problem solve to the best solution, not the first one.

A Smart Move to Boost EQ

It just makes business sense! Invest in your staff both professionally and personally by inviting them to a deeper level of self-awareness. EQ is the foundation of sound decision-making, which is at the core of consistently high performance.

EQ training, available through The Chandelle Group, will provide you with key takeways:

  • Tools to get out of “the red” in order to stay on task while efficiently deal with the randomization of your environment.
  • Challenge to reorient your life around your values after they are compromised under pressure. 
  • Find out why competency is necessary for top performance, however it is not sufficient.
  • Identify and analyze your top emotional triggers, and put strategies in place to manage yourself back on track.
  • Identify how much your stress and overwhelm is costing you.
  • Increase your self-management skills to make room for more efficiency, clarity and overall fulfillment in life.

A Business Decision with Guaranteed ROI

Business success begins with leadership that is emotionally intelligent.  By boosting interpersonal and Interpersonal EQ among your team, communication will thrive, conflict will dissipate, productivity will increase and the whole team — your whole operation — will excel like never before.

Your Coach,



Why COURAGE Requires Your EQ to Evolve-Clarity #37

John Wayne had it right when he said, “Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” The question for leaders today is “Do you know when fear has taken over your body and that you are now reacting vs. responding?” Are you aware that your fear has given way to anger and that everyone in the room feels your rage, but you? Do you have the humility to see this in yourself and the courage to grow through it?

This month, we have been focused on increasing our Emotional Intelligence starting with self-awareness. Today is the last day for the 300 people who signed up for the EQ assessment to complete it and I can’t wait to see the results. What I am most excited about is the practicality of taking your leadership to the next level.

Be Courageous

One of my favorite words and character traits is COURAGE. Courage only comes to those who have a high EQ for you must feel the fear (self-awareness) and then manage it (self-regulation) effectively so emotion does not hijack your logical brain.

Courage is about truly experiencing fear and having the strength, self-discipline, will, faith, and character to move through it to the breakthrough. I wrote about it in my book Clarity: Focusing on What Matters and thought on this Thanksgiving week, I’d express my gratitude to you faithful blog readers by sharing this chapter with you.

Clarity: WEEK 37

John Wayne had it right when he said, “Courage is being  scared to death and saddling up anyway.”

Do you think of yourself as courageous? To show courage you must be in tune with your core values, understand your own fears and desires, committed to your integrity, and tenacious in your ability to live it all in the face of opposition.

Courage is not something you do. It comes from who you are.ronnie

Courage is not fearlessness. Courage is actually about being quite clear on what you fear and pressing through it to the other side. It’s not risk taking. It’s not strategic decision-making. It’s about following your heart, analyzing facts, and believing that your integrity is what matters in the end. Courage is about leading the vision when the rest of the world wants to watch CNN for hints on their next move.

Courage is about daily choices.

It is doing the right thing especially when it makes you vulnerable to disapproval or public misunderstanding. Courage is about admitting you’re wrong, taking responsibility, and owning the fallout of your choices.

Courage is becoming a lost art in leadership.

Without self-awareness and a keen understanding of our fears and desires, we will likely give in to our narcissism and self-delusion. For example, a CEO who is clueless to his underlying fear of rejection may dominate and rule others from a place of arrogance and self-protection.

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” — Winston Churchill

Such an attitude likely creates a reality in which no one trusts or respects this leader; they instead simply give lip service to get what they want.

I see good leaders firsthand get so busy and stressed out, they forget what they fear. They don’t realize every decision they are rapidly making is a reaction to guard them from that fear. Then, as if no one can see through them, they cover up their actions so they don’t have to face their fear. Not only is it ridiculous; it is being cowardly. You are more than that!

What is one area you know you need to face head-on with courage?

Listen to your coach. You have what it takes. Face your fears, take courage and saddle up.

Your Coach,



How EQ Training Launched Me To My Next Level – Clarity #36

I would like to share my story on how working on my EQ has truly shifted my leadership and increased my joy. Emotional Intelligence is increasing in its popularity and acceptance as the number one leadership advantage. Your EQ, which is the measurement of your Emotional Intelligence (EI), is just as essential as your IQ to advance in most evolved organizations today. EQ can be measured through validated assessments, which BTW all True Life Coaches are certified in.

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is something that is learned and developed through training, experience, and wisdom. A great working definition from Robert Cooper is

“Emotional Intelligence is the ability to sense understand and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions to facilitate high levels of collaboration and productivity.”

Even though I have taught EI for nearly 2 decades, I had a huge eye-opening experience when TTI unveiled their EQ Assessment at 2011 Winter Conference. It was here that Dr. Izzy Justice explained what happens to the brain under stress. When it gets to a certain level of stress, emotion takes over our body before we are even aware of it and when that happens emotion always trumps judgment and overrides our logic.

As he explained the process of decision making, I fixated on the teaching that when your stress elevates to a “red” level your amygdala shuts down your “thinking” brain and your survival brain takes over. In very simple terms, emotion takes over to make sure you can survive. Your brain doesn’t know if its being chased by a brown bear or a devastating email, so your body takes over before you even know what happened to you.  Once that happens and the “crisis” is resolved, it takes 3-4 hours for your body to return to its “clear” state.

All I heard was it takes 4 hours for your judgment and logic to return.

When you have prolonged stress and your body starts running on adrenaline, you are no longer employing your logic, your competencies, your cognition — you are surviving on your instincts, your emotions, your reactions. You are no longer choosing and responding, but solely reacting. Back to 4 hours… why would I let anything hi-jack my rational brain for 4 hours? What is worth that? The truth is…

I spent decades surviving on this adrenaline!

The EQ assessment with training helped me see where I was in my EI development and then gave me tips on how to work on it. The first two aspects of EI are Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation. Once I started to work on my self-awareness and recognize when I was moving quickly to “red”, I was able to employ new self-regulation techniques. Slowly but surely I started to see dramatic results. I now teach it with passion and vigor.

Here’s a short clip to illustrate:

Almost 3 years later, I see the fruit of my labor and so does my staff. I work much smarter accomplishing much more with ease. There is greater success with greater joy. Things that triggered me have lost their power and I am able to stay logical even when the temptation is to quickly ignite and react. There is more peace and joy everywhere in my life not to mention the results to the bottom line.

If you are interested in taking the EQ Assessment, just leave me a comment below by noon on Friday (11/22/2013). I’m happy to gift you one for asking as long as you commit to working on EI and blessing the world with your greatness.

Your Coach,



3 Tips on Empathy and Emotion Coaching via #2011wls

I love my nieces and nephews!  Anyone who knows me knows I am crazy about them. Of course, as I teach and learn EQ, I want to practice my new behaviors with those that are closest to me. I keep asking myself, “How do I help instill these skills and tools to the next generation?”

As I embarked on this journey, I devoured the book “Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child” by John Gottman. The concepts Dr. Gottman taught were so parallel to business that I knew instantly I had to have Melissa Benaroya speak at the Summit. And boy am I glad I did.

Melissa is a licensed clinical social worker, Certified Gottman Educator and Positive Discipline facilitator. Melissa is also the founder of Green Lake Moms, a 1,600+ member online community, dedicated to sharing resources, offering support, and making connections for local area moms.

At the Summit, she took the EQ principles we were learning for business and put them to practical application with kids. Here are some of her helpful tips.

Tip 1. Teach Empathy by Example

Research indicates that kids are more likely to show empathic concern for others if they have parents who help them cope with negative emotions in a sympathetic way. Continue reading