Tag Archives: giving

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Invest to Have Success!

The holiday decorations are down and put away. Life is assuming its regular routine. Perhaps the weather is dismal where you are, and you’re feeling the winter blues. The ink on your New Year’s resolution is barely dry, and maybe you’re feeling disillusioned by the whole thing! Are you wondering – will there be change this year? Will I finally be fulfilled?

You’ve heard it said: The happiest, most satisfied people in the world are, very often, the ones who give the most to others. Their joy is not found in material things, but in the ways they invest in other people. You’ve seen our Wish List for Your 2016, and we desire to keep this list in front of you for a bit longer – let it sink in!

The final items on our list are directly related to investing in people. YOU have gifts and talents that can be used to better others.

Here are some reminders:

  • I want you to see people, not as objects or obstacles but as human beings. I want you to see their strengths and identify their weaknesses. I want you to focus on their strengths and encourage them to use them daily. Try coaching a weakness into a strength by positive transformation (i.e. a poor communicator can be an excellent communicator with self-awareness and instruction.)
  • I want you to celebrate wins and to catch people doing what’s right.
  • I want you to engage in healthy conflict — daily. Disengage from dysfunctional conflict. Know the difference.
  • I want you to seek alignment. That’s a big statement.
  • I want you to have clarity and to truly focus on what matters only, everyday.
  • I want you to live with purpose and lead others in a manner so they can live their purpose.
  • I want you to be heard. I want you to be seen. I want you to be understood. I want you to first do the same for others, be the first to serve.
  • I want you to take care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. I want you to know your weak area and get a coach or mentor to help you with it.
  • I want you to call out greatness in others and I want you to be great.

Simply, “to be” is the key. I want you to be the best you can be in 2016.

Your Coach,

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Can You Do the 100/0?

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It’s The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return. Here is an excerpt from Al Ritter’s The 100/0 Principle: The Secret of Great Relationships.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is not natural for most of us. It takes real commitment to the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to those people in your life where the relationships are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers, family and friends.

STEP 1 – Determine what you can do to make the relationship work…then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.

STEP 2 – Do not expect anything in return. Zero, zip, nada.

STEP 3 – Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don’t take the bait.

STEP 4 – Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don’t respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the “Knower” and shift to being the “Learner.” Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like “that won’t work,” “I’m right, you are wrong,” “I know it and you don’t,” “I’ll teach you,” “that’s just the way it is,” “I need to tell you what I know,” etc.

Instead use Learner statements/thoughts like “Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation,” “I could be wrong,” “I wonder if there is anything of value here,” “I wonder if…” etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox

This may strike you as strange, but here’s the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

Your Coach,

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Vulnerability and The Receiving of Help

One thing I wish I would have discovered earlier in life is that fullness of life requires greater and greater amounts of vulnerability. In my journey, I have learned that my vulnerability has a lot to do with receiving from others. I am a giver by nature and I hope to always be a generous giving person. However, what I have discovered is that giving is the easy thing to do, it is safe, and it does not expose me. Receiving, on the other hand, is something I am learning to do. I have to admit it still isn’t easy, because it makes me feel well…vulnerable.

Vulnerable to someone feeling I am taking advantage of them. Vulnerable to the guilt of asking too much. Vulnerable to taking too much and being seen as selfish. It is all ridiculous and truly it is prideful and disgusting. I think it is a deep seeded fear of rejection and I am sure a host of other fears. The lie I operate from is “I can do it all,” I want to be independent <and not need others. Yet I crave and need the connection that only comes from a community of give and take relationships.

The truth is we need others and it is a giving thing to do to let others help and support us. This allows them to be the giver and they have the opportunity to feel awesome because they helped the giver. Its all so twisted. AND YET as I encourage all of you – I am getting faster to asking for help and for accepting the amazing gifts and talents of those around me.

IMG_5611Today was a victorious day of receiving from so many talented people. I had fun. I worked hard, got stuff done, and enjoyed being me. Why? Because other people invested in me. They helped me. They gave their time and their talent to me and I received it.

Lisa helped me this morning with LEXI Women’s Leadership Summit with her passion and great marketing talent.IMG_5608

Julie is a serious hair master and went the extra mile so the LEXI promo video would be awesome.

Wendy used her 20 years of industry talent and coached me as we shot the video. She made me relax and when I started being corporate – said, “Hey, where did Shandel go?”

Mike generously provided us space to shoot and took us on a tour to find perfect setting.

Jessi after shooting the LEXI video, did one for my new company the Shandel Group.

Loretta jumped in when it looked like a vendor wasn’t going to show up.

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Tonight, Kristine will watch “Once Upon A Time” with me and manage the remote so I can multitask.

At the end of the day, my nieces will Facetime and make me smile. I will receive their love and IMG_4872affection with arms wide open.

I am full and I am happy because I humbled myself, I opened myself, and I cared enough about myself to receive the help I needed today. If only, I was more evolved that this was easy…simple, yes, but not easy. You will see me be more vulnerable and ask for more help. But for today, I was satisfied, grateful, and blessed.

Who do you need to ask to help you today?

Your Coach,

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