Tag Archives: relationship


Living the Only Day you Have

Meaning, purpose, and intentionality. You probably know the logical reason why you do the things you do. But you may not know the purpose behind what you are logically doing day after day.

It is an important distinction. As leaders we have established plans, goals, and action steps that fit into our strategies. But we haven’t taken time to figure out why what we do really matters.

Do you know deep in your heart that what you do, and who you are, really matters? To whom? For what? And really – why?

Think about it: If you only had one day to live, what would you do? What matters most? Well, today is the only day you know you have.

Relationships are the key. The truth is, what you do for others is the only thing that truly matters in the end. Think about the times when life hit you hard and you were exposed financially or in another area where you required help. Suddenly you can’t medicate the relationship pain/gap with money, busy living, and success. Look at your life. What do you find? The holes you try desperately to keep hidden are revealed in the spotlight.

So now is the time to exercise your choice. You can feel the emptiness, address the source, and discover your purpose. Or you can find a new way to numb yourself with more self-medicating than ever before. Medicating the gap is a protection we all use to some degree. If only we can come clean and admit it, we can be free to live our purpose.

Where are you getting your purpose, your joy, and your fulfillment? What is the name of the well you are drinking from right now? Every day you drop your bucket into a well – and up comes what? Remember, what you are drinking, you are becoming. Is your well toxic? Is it intoxicating? Is it refreshing? Is it stagnant? Is it full of you? What is in your well?

After you examine what well you are drinking from, then drink deeply – if it is the life-giving sustenance you are living for. If not, then let’s dig a new well! Let’s dig deep for what matters. Now is the time.

Your Coach,




This article and other great leadership tips are available in Clarity: Focusing on What Matters

may 6

Your Interpersonal Best

What would you do to improve your interpersonal skills? Last time we looked at what interpersonal skills are, and why having strong ones leads to success.

Now it’s time to get down to work!

Here are four activities you can do to improve your relationships and boost your professional and personal sociability. Trust me, it’s worth the effort!

Activity 1: Improving Existing Relationships

Create a chart with four columns with these headings: Person’s Name, Quality of Relationship (1-5 scale), Goals for Improving Relationship, and Due Date.

Now list the people with whom you work regularly. Fill in the chart, evaluating your relationship with each person (on a scale of 1-5 in which 1 is the best and 5 is the worst) and setting goals toward improving your relationships with these individuals. Make sure you list something positive you can do for everyone, including people you already get along very well with.

Be sure to set dates for all your goals, and then hold yourself accountable!

Activity 2: Ask for Honest Feedback

Ask several people you trust for their feedback on your leadership style. Choose people at a variety of levels of your organization such as, management, peers or employees.

Make an appointment with each person to talk formally. Use the following questions as a guide to your discussion. Remember to be open and not defensive.

  • How would you describe my leadership style?
  • What do I do well in my role as a leader?
  • What do others do better? How could I improve my skills?
  • Am I people oriented?
  • Are there any specific situations you thought I handled particularly well?
  • Are there any specific situations you thought I could have handled better? What did you think I should have done?
  • Do I seem assertive but not overbearing, or am I too forceful in stating my desires and plans?

Activity 3: Review of Your Skills

Ask someone you trust to observe you as you present a new idea or project to others. Have the person take notes and give you feedback on how you handled the following:

  • Presenting yourself
  • Presenting your ideas
  • Sounding enthusiastic and positive about your plans
  • Persuading others that your idea would benefit them or those they serve
  • Politely fielding questions and managing disagreement
  • Being assertive but not aggressive
  • Other areas observed during your attempt to persuade someone of the merits of your idea or plan

Activity 4: Observing Others

Make a point of observing people in your organization who are particularly good at gaining support and agreement from others. Answer these questions:

  • What technique does each person use to persuade people?
  • How do they present themselves?
  • How do they present their ideas?
  • How do they handle disagreements and conflict?
  • What do you like best about how they present new ideas or programs?

Remember, communicating effectively, building rapport, and relating well to all kinds of people are essential skills for any successful person. And, one can never stop getting better at them! So I challenge you today to get going on these activities – you, your organization, your circle of acquaintances and family, all will be happier for it!

Your Coach,