Tag Archives: success


How’s Your Attitude?

You’ve heard the phrase, “attitude is everything”. Maybe it was a parent, a coach in school, or even an employer. But really, how important is attitude? Does it play a role compared to IQ? This article from Forbes thinks so!

Read on, and please comment below with your thoughts!

Why Attitude is More Important than IQ

When it comes to success, it’s easy to think that people blessed with brains are inevitably going to leave the rest of us in the dust. But new research from Stanford University will change your mind (and your attitude).

Psychologist Carol Dweck has spent her entire career studying attitude and performance, and her latest study shows that your attitude is a better predictor of your success than your IQ.

Dweck found that people’s core attitudes fall into one of two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.

With a fixed mindset, you believe you are who you are and you cannot change. This creates problems when you’re challenged because anything that appears to be more than you can handle is bound to make you feel hopeless and overwhelmed.

People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. They outperform those with a fixed mindset, even when they have a lower IQ, because they embrace challenges, treating them as opportunities to learn something new.

Common sense would suggest that having ability, like being smart, inspires confidence. It does, but only while the going is easy. The deciding factor in life is how you handle setbacks and challenges. People with a growth mindset welcome setbacks with open arms.

According to Dweck, success in life is all about how you deal with failure. She describes the approach to failure of people with the growth mindset this way,

“Failure is information—we label it failure, but it’s more like, ‘This didn’t work, and I’m a problem solver, so I’ll try something else.’”

Regardless of which side of the chart you fall on, you can make changes and develop a growth mindset. What follows are some strategies that will fine-tune your mindset and help you make certain it’s as growth oriented as possible.

Don’t stay helpless. We all hit moments when we feel helpless. The test is how we react to that feeling. We can either learn from it and move forward or let it drag us down. There are countless successful people who would have never made it if they had succumbed to feelings of helplessness: Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas,” Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a TV anchor in Baltimore for being “too emotionally invested in her stories,” Henry Ford had two failed car companies prior to succeeding with Ford, and Steven Spielberg was rejected by USC’s Cinematic Arts School multiple times. Imagine what would have happened if any of these people had a fixed mindset. They would have succumbed to the rejection and given up hope. People with a growth mindset don’t feel helpless because they know that in order to be successful, you need to be willing to fail hard and then bounce right back.

Be passionate. Empowered people pursue their passions relentlessly. There’s always going to be someone who’s more naturally talented than you are, but what you lack in talent, you can make up for in passion. Empowered people’s passion is what drives their unrelenting pursuit of excellence. Warren Buffett recommends finding your truest passions using, what he calls, the 5/25 technique: Write down the 25 things that you care about the most. Then, cross out the bottom 20. The remaining 5 are your true passions. Everything else is merely a distraction.

Take action. It’s not that people with a growth mindset are able to overcome their fears because they are braver than the rest of us; it’s just that they know fear and anxiety are paralyzing emotions and that the best way to overcome this paralysis is to take action. People with a growth mindset are empowered, and empowered people know that there’s no such thing as a truly perfect moment to move forward. So why wait for one? Taking action turns all your worry and concern about failure into positive, focused energy.

Then go the extra mile (or two). Empowered people give it their all, even on their worst days. They’re always pushing themselves to go the extra mile. One of Bruce Lee’s pupils ran three miles every day with him. One day, they were about to hit the three-mile mark when Bruce said, “Let’s do two more.” His pupil was tired and said, “I’ll die if I run two more.” Bruce’s response? “Then do it.” His pupil became so angry that he finished the full five miles. Exhausted and furious, he confronted Bruce about his comment, and Bruce explained it this way: “Quit and you might as well be dead. If you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there; you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”

If you aren’t getting a little bit better each day, then you’re most likely getting a little worse—and what kind of life is that?

Expect results. People with a growth mindset know that they’re going to fail from time to time, but they never let that keep them from expecting results. Expecting results keeps you motivated and feeds the cycle of empowerment. After all, if you don’t think you’re going to succeed, then why bother?

Be flexible. Everyone encounters unanticipated adversity. People with an empowered, growth-oriented mindset embrace adversity as a means for improvement, as opposed to something that holds them back. When an unexpected situation challenges an empowered person, they flex until they get results.

Don’t complain when things don’t go your way. Complaining is an obvious sign of a fixed mindset. A growth mindset looks for opportunity in everything, so there’s no room for complaints.

Bringing It All Together

By keeping track of how you respond to the little things, you can work every day to keep yourself on the right side of the chart above.

Your Coach,




Special thanks to Forbes and Travis Bradberry for the article.


Invest to Have Success!

The holiday decorations are down and put away. Life is assuming its regular routine. Perhaps the weather is dismal where you are, and you’re feeling the winter blues. The ink on your New Year’s resolution is barely dry, and maybe you’re feeling disillusioned by the whole thing! Are you wondering – will there be change this year? Will I finally be fulfilled?

You’ve heard it said: The happiest, most satisfied people in the world are, very often, the ones who give the most to others. Their joy is not found in material things, but in the ways they invest in other people. You’ve seen our Wish List for Your 2016, and we desire to keep this list in front of you for a bit longer – let it sink in!

The final items on our list are directly related to investing in people. YOU have gifts and talents that can be used to better others.

Here are some reminders:

  • I want you to see people, not as objects or obstacles but as human beings. I want you to see their strengths and identify their weaknesses. I want you to focus on their strengths and encourage them to use them daily. Try coaching a weakness into a strength by positive transformation (i.e. a poor communicator can be an excellent communicator with self-awareness and instruction.)
  • I want you to celebrate wins and to catch people doing what’s right.
  • I want you to engage in healthy conflict — daily. Disengage from dysfunctional conflict. Know the difference.
  • I want you to seek alignment. That’s a big statement.
  • I want you to have clarity and to truly focus on what matters only, everyday.
  • I want you to live with purpose and lead others in a manner so they can live their purpose.
  • I want you to be heard. I want you to be seen. I want you to be understood. I want you to first do the same for others, be the first to serve.
  • I want you to take care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. I want you to know your weak area and get a coach or mentor to help you with it.
  • I want you to call out greatness in others and I want you to be great.

Simply, “to be” is the key. I want you to be the best you can be in 2016.

Your Coach,



The Top 10 Things To Help Your Business & Personal Life Become Healthier & More Successful

There are always things we can do to make our life better or easier or closer to our “dream” life. These changes or “choices” can affect our business and professional life in profound ways. In many ways, they can make us and our business simply but powerfully more “attractive.” This list is a sample of some ways and areas that will help us to get closer to our “ideal” life, and to become more “irresistibly attractive” personally and in our profession!

1. Assess Your Health & “Get Healthy”- Inside And Out.

Simple enough? Look in the mirror. Look at the bathroom scales. How is your energy level? Your diet? Your blood pressure? Your stress level? Know what your current health “status” is by *SEEING YOUR DOCTOR,* and start correcting things that limit your quality of life. Get healthy by CHOICE before you are asked/forced to due to a *preventable* or treatable problem.

2. *Honestly* Examine Your Current Financial Situation.

What are you “worth?” How much debt do you have? Do you have a budget? Savings reserve? Plan for retirement? Is your business *really* making money, or has it turned into just an expensive “hobby?” Get out all the “books,” checkbooks, etc. Use a professional planner or consultant if necessary. Correct overspending and *reduce consumer debt*. Cut down on unnecessary overhead/expenses! Increase profits, or make plans to do so. Have a 6-12 month “reserve” of money and *good* “disability” and medical insurance for yourself and any family members living with you. Don’t “assume” anything!

3. Get Rid Of Any “Garbage” Or “Unfinished Business” From Your Past!

Yes, is difficult to forgive and “let go” of old hurts, pain, and other unpleasant memories. AND, it is essential to do that if you don’t want those “old tapes” to drain your emotional & physical energy in the “present”. People tend to let some of that old “baggage” influence their present lies, & it is going to be always in a negative or unhealthy way. Write down who or what you are still “hanging onto,” and decide what it would take to “let it go” for *good*! Seek out a coach or other professional to help if you cannot do this on your own. It is *vital* to resolve the past for us to be able to grow and really live in the present, and move ahead and embrace the future.

4. Make A Monthly And Annual Goals Plan Or List.

Decide what you are lacking that you need or want. Write it down as an achievement or goal to reach by the next month or 3 months or year! Make the goals reasonable yet challenging. Let your reach exceed your grasp, and work toward it daily in steps you can handle. If you need help, hire a coach, or ask your coach to help you specifically in that area.

5. Upgrade Your Personal Standards And Your “Boundaries” If Necessary.

Know what your values and standards are. Make them as high as you can given your goals, your needs, and your personal and business situation. Make sure you have set “boundaries” or “rules” for people in your life around what you will and will not accept from them. This can be done in a calm and non-threatening, yet firm manner. If you are stuck or having problems with this, ask a close friend for help, or if the lack of boundaries and high standards is affecting your life badly, consider hiring a coach!

6. Stop Tolerating!

All of the small to large annoyances, insults, things we do to ourselves, and things people “do to us,” are not helping us have a quality life. Make a “laundry list” of all that you are “putting up with” currently. ANY toleration is going to affect you and have at least a small adverse affect on your life unless you either eliminate it or “reframe” how you perceive it or respond to it. To have a quality life and to be healthy, we need all the energy we can get. We do enough things to ourselves that “drain” us…we don’t need other people or things draining us as well!

7. Be 100% Honest When Speaking With Others.

Holding back how you *really* feel when communicating does more damage to ourselves, as well as to the relationships we have with others, as almost anything else. It takes courage and “practice” (by just DOING IT!) to learn how to do this and to do it in a non-aggressive and non-judgmental way. It is a skill or “trait” however, that is essential to having a truly healthy and “integrity-based” business and personal life. Being totally honest respects yourself and others.

8. Listen 2-3 Times More To Others Than You Currently Do.

Listening is an art. Almost everyone likes to talk, and to be “heard.” In business and personal relationships, learning how to listen well is very important to understanding other’s problems and what they really need from you or want to tell you. In coaching, if a coach can say that he/she listens to their client 75-80% of the time, and talks the rest of the time, they are probably hearing and helping their client much more than a coach who talks 50-75% of the time and listens only 25-50%. It is not easy for many people to develop this skill, and it is important. The way to learn it is to be quiet more…and listen more. No other way.

9. Assess-Re-evaluate Your Career And Career Goals.

Are you doing what you *really* want to do for a living? Do you get satisfaction and enough financial remuneration from your job to satisfy your needs so that you feel you are respected, impacting people, and doing what you were “meant” to do? Are you excited and “drawn” to your profession? Were you ever? If you come up with unsettling answers to these questions, it is time to make some plans for moving “up,” moving out, or changing your job description, hours, etc. A coach or career counselor can help you with this if you cannot work it out on your own. Most people need to feel good about their jobs to feel good about themselves and others. If you do not, find out why, and start looking into other options, actions, and choices.

10. Decide To Think & Talk In The “Present” At Least 80% Of The Time.

The past is gone, and we have NO control over the future. Living in the “now” or present, and thinking in the present, is both healthy and more productive. If we can use self discipline and practice, so that we do not talk or think about the past or the future more than 20% of the time, we will be much happier in many areas of our lives. The past can have many good memories, but often when people think or talk about the past it is not about positive things, rather the “bad” or negative “stuff.” The future is a dream still. It is a waste of energy and time to stay in the past or in the future much more than 20% of our total waking hours mentally or when talking. If we live minute to minute, hour to hour, there will be much less chance of dwelling into the past or dreaming too much-far into the future. We do a lot of that anyhow when we dream in our sleep!

If you know someone who could benefit from finding out how coaching can assist in this process, please check out some of our coaching options here. We can also customize a coaching package that is just right for their needs!

Your Coach,



You Can Go Higher

I really dislike it (okay, I hate it) when I am cruisin’ along, accomplishing goals, thriving in relationships, and then all of a sudden something hits me out of the blue and completely throws off my game. A difficult person, negative situation or perhaps even my own fear sucks my emotional energy keeps me from going in the direction I need to go.

My creativity drops, my optimism is squelched, my heart feels heavy from not being sure how to get out of a funk. Sometimes roadblocks are healthy warning signs, but often they are ceilings that need to be pushed through and broken.

This lesson popped out for me as I recently went paragliding off Tiger Mountain and hit the top of the thermal. I was begging my guide to take me higher so I could see more.

“We’ve hit a ceiling and so we’re looking for a thermal disturbance so we can gain altitude”, he said. He pointed out folks below in the same predicament. I watched as they found their entry point and bounced around a bit. But next thing I knew they were at eye level.

Then he said, “Okay, here we go!” The turbulence rocked us, but only for a moment, and we rode the thermal up to higher altitude. What a great view of the world!

It is the same experience for us as we try to gain ground at work or in life. Have you tried to go higher only to hit an invisible ceiling? Have you given up thinking you’ve hit your highest point, your top moment? It’s a lie. You can go higher!

What bumpy air are you encountering? Do not confuse the sudden jerk as a setback. It may be exactly what is needed to prepare you for the adventure that lies ahead. When it is time to go to the next level, you must allow yourself out of your comfort zone and experience some turbulence.

Perspective and persistence are key to conquering self-imposed ceilings too. My paragliding instructor had to wait and search for the entry point out of our ceiling or we would have eventually descended.

What challenge are you facing that in fact might be a self-imposed ceiling?

Your Coach,



Leading by Saying No

The reluctance, and often inability, to say No is an insidious robber of success. Success takes vision and focus. Not saying No takes nibbles, often full bites, out of your time and your energy and keeps you from creating the life and making the difference that you long to make in the world. This danger extends far beyond the mother of school age children who is asked to send homemade cookies for the class party the next day. It plagues the gifted CEO eager to take the company to the next level. It haunts the entrepreneur who struggles to focus his efforts. It dilutes the ability of these leaders to pursue what really matters to them.

Is that sounding selfish?  Consider what is possible if each of us pursues what truly matters to us. Perhaps the human race will get done what truly matters.  What if you carefully chose where you gave your time and your energy, and lived lives consistent with what you value most? As leaders, we would model the importance of not settling for lives that are spread too thin to make a lasting difference. Does that sound selfish?

Leadership skill: Lead by saying No.

The key to saying No is to be very clear about what is important enough to you to say Yes. The truth is that your resources are finite. Each time you say Yes (or don’t say No) you are in essence “robbing Peter to pay Paul.” There is nothing wrong with that as long as paying Paul is more important to you than paying Peter.

The tricky part is that very few of us are living lives filled with things that we don’t want to do. But many of us are living lives that seldom get to the things that we really want to do. We are often responding to what is in our face rather than what is in our heart – also referred to as the tyranny of the urgent. We are neglecting the important to deal with the immediate.

The answer is to sort through your myriad of good activities, or intentions, to tease out those that are the best. Start by imagining that you are 10 years older. Ask yourself what you would want to be able to say about your life in the past decade – the person you had been, the goals you had reached, and the difference you had made. Write those things down and make a list of the values they represent. Compare those values with how you are spending time and energy today. It will be clear where you need to say No.

How are you doing, 0 – 10, leading by saying No?

Knowing where you need to say No and actually saying No are two different things. If that is your struggle, please know that I join you as do most of the executives that I coach. But just because it is a common issue in our culture, it doesn’t mean that we should settle for the mediocrity that it creates in our lives. I challenge you to develop a picture of what your life would look like if your primary values were honored every day. The clearer the vision, the more compelled you will be to create boundaries, to say Yes to what really matters and No to what doesn’t matter as much.

Selfish? No. Just imagine the profound effect of the most important things getting done in the world each day. That couldn’t possibly be a bad thing.

- Mary Beth King


Why Do We Worry about Things that Won’t Happen?

Fear, worry, anxiety. Emotions the most successful leaders in the world face every day.

Do they serve any good purpose?

Wired to Worry

Fear is not bad in and of itself. It is a survival emotion (if you will) that ignites our amygdala to prepare our body for a fight or flight response to impending danger. The problem is our body doesn’t know if the threat is real or perceived. Thus, the brain is predisposed to find the negative (the threat) and alert us.

There may be 99 possibilities for greatness — but our brain will fixate on the 1 potential threat.

Thus, we must be disciplined to learn what is a real threat and take action, and let the other 85% of what will NEVER actually happen stop robbing us of our life, our health, and our joy.

What Are the Odds?

I’m not just making up these numbers. In the mid-1990s, researchers Drs. Adrian Matthews and Gerald Wells found that 85% of what we worry about will never actually happen. Furthermore, of the remaining 15%, we effectively handle the situation effectively 79% of the time!

Basically, for a lousy 3% probability, we allow fear and worry to rob our joy, steal our creativity and compromise our purpose.

You wouldn’t make a business decision based on 3% likelihood, would you? Today, join me in choosing to face whatever MIGHT happen with courage and confidence!

Invest in your women

Oh and one more thing – This entire epidemic of fear is the reason our theme to the 6th Annual LEXI Women’s Leadership Summit is FEARLESS. Send your women to it – seriously you need to invest in the women in your life in this area of being courageous and bold in all areas. It is Friday, May 2nd, and here is a special link for my personal discount. SEND YOUR WOMEN!

Let me know your thoughts below.

Fearlessly Your Coach,




5 Ways To Prepare Yourself For Success-Clarity #32

 Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get. –W.P. Kinsella

photoI love Summer and I love sunshine! It seems this recent heat wave nearly sent my Seattle friends over the edge as evidenced in their tweets and Facebook posts. Bless our hearts. We complain about the grey and rain and yet when we finally get the sunshine we long for.. we complain and grumble.

When I wrote Clarity: Focusing on What Matters I addressed this in week #32 and challenged readers that in order to be successful you first must know how you define success. It never ceases to amaze me how many people have never taken the time to define success for themselves. Instead they go through life with someone else’s definition and find they are never satisfied or better said never fulfilled.

What do you want?

What do you really, really want? Most people answer that question with what they do not have which I think is a lost opportunity. What you really, really want you may indeed already have and by your own definition be a successful person. Shocking!

To identify what you want and be clear on your “why” does not mean you don’t have goals and should not strive for what you want that you do not have. Conversely, there is joy in realizing you just might have more than you ever imagined which will energize the journey toward more.

Take some time this summer and really think about how you define success and prepare yourself to live it and receive it.

5 ways to prepare yourself for success:

  • Define: What is it that you really want? Why?
  • Identify: Where are you at right now in your life? Who are you?
  • Motivation: What motivates you to be where you want to be? (the why)
  • Goals: What are the top 3 goals you have?
  • Preparation: Be prepared for the worst and best outcome.

Remember, you are eagle leaders and success is just who you are! Take one step toward defining your own success story before the day ends.

Your Coach,





P.S. YAY! I am feeling rather successful that after months of tech issues, we launched our new website today.  Check it out and tell the world.