Joy and criticism cannot co-exist. Do you have enough joy? Clarity #6

Photo courtesy of Ran Slaten

Joy and criticism cannot co-exist. I remember the day those convicting 5 words hit me hard and caused a huge shift.  Think about it.  Can you have that peaceful wonderful joy while you are being judgmental and critical of others?

Is your leadership style marked by joy or judgment?

Yesterday, I coached an incredibly talented leader who was super frustrated with folks above him and below him. He had every right to be and yet I sensed a critical spirit that had to be addressed first. Confronting his judgments, we started to dig into truth, I sensed he was checking out.

I asked him what that inner voice was telling him, searching for what his story was, if you will. What I got was a bunch of negative self-talk criticism that brought him to tears as he articulated what he was hearing that inner critic bark.

The truth is when you choose to be judgmental and criticize, you turn in your joy card.

Here he started with judgment toward others, but actually he was critical of himself. I gently spoke truth back to him to expose that inner critic was only looking at one small facet of this situation in front of him. We put the rest of the facts into his story and soon he had relief and joy. He could see the filter was false and was able to reframe the leadership opportunity and respond in a way he could be proud of …and me too!

S.T.O.P. the negative critic and become a joy giver and receiver!

This week is about stopping the inner critic. As we follow the weekly readings of Clarity: Focusing on What Matters, there are four hints on how to STOP the negativity in week 6. We will cover a few later this week, but why not download Clarity on your Kindle or ipad or pick up a copy today. Join in now on the Summer of Clarity and share below the ways you stop the critic. Comments makes me happy!

Your Coach for 101meds Clarity!